OK, I have been a very bad blogger as of late. Completely MIA for the past few weeks, nary a peep. I’m sorry but I promise I have good reason for it! Upon returning from my lovely vacation touring around BC a few weeks ago, I checked my work email and found one telling me I would be travelling to New Jersey and Toronto for the following 8 weeks. Starting the week after that. So I’ve been gone from the virtual world because I have been gone from my physical one as well. I’ve been in 3 different provinces and 2 states over the past 3 weeks, spent 40 hours at home and am writing this from the airport as i head back on the road. It has been very long hours and very exhausting but one of the good things I just realized – doing this work stuff has almost completely distracted me from our baby stuff. It’s been nice to immerse myself in something other than cycle days and tracking my temperature. I know this will all change very soon as we have our appointment on Friday to make our final decision about our plan but in the meantime, I will enjoy being exhausted by something other than making a baby!
Well, we don’t *quite* have a plan but we are getting closer! We had our follow-up appointment with our doctor today and got the results from all of our tests. The first result is that – I get to go and do MORE TESTS! Hurray! Well, not really especially since it is bloodwork at 6:40am tomorrow, but it will all be worth it in the end, right?
But onto the more positive stuff. From the ultrasound, the doctor said that she could see 9 follicles on one side and 15 on the other! This is great news! She said that they like to see at least 10, combined, so I think that 24 is pretty good 😉 Other than that, it looks like the biggest factor for us in our infertility is my husband’s anti-sperm antibodies. We got some clarification and the doctor said that 98% of his sperm have them somewhere (head/tail), which is quite high. I know he’s sad about that and is feeling like he’s broken but I’m working to make him realize that we’re in this together and that even if everything ‘works’ it doesn’t guarantee getting pregnant. This is our journey and it’s nobodies fault.
So where does this leave us? We still have to talk about things but I continue to feel like IVF is the way to go for us. Our doctor said that we could go for Clomid and IUI but even then the success rates are low. On top of that, if we did decide to ultimately go for IVF, we would then have to take a couple of months off from the Clomid to really start from scratch, so that would be additional waiting time. I know we’re not out of time but, as our doctor said, IVF is the best chance of getting pregnant quickly and is our best option if we want a larger family. If we were to go with IUI and were successful, our chances of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby for number 2 would be lower simply due to being older when attempting our second, while if we do IVF and are able to freeze some embryos, they would be my age when they are retrieved.
Ultimately, we still have to talk things out and say 100% what our plan is but I’m seeing IVF in my future (unless we magically get pregnant in the next couple of months). We are very lucky that we have been able to save the money for it, so I feel like we should just go for it and give ourselves the best chances for success. If we go for IVF, we can also go for ICSI (where they put the sperm right into the egg) which gets around the antibody issues.
The next step is talking it out with the hubby, which we have on the docket tonight. We’ll see how that goes 😉 Then, we have the IVF information session on September 3 and our FINAL decision will be made on September 4. If we do get a move on things, we could theoretically be starting treatment in October/November and maybe even pregnant before the end of the year. I know that lots can happen and lots can go wrong but it’s at least fun to dream about it a little bit. I’m feeling excited and encouraged and working to keep thinking not about *if* we will have a family but *when*. Heck, a little positivity is always a good thing.
We have our follow up appointment at the fertility clinic tomorrow. It has been 6 weeks since we had our first appointment; 17 months since we first started trying to conceive; over 10 years since we first started dating. It is funny how time changes. The past 6 weeks have felt so long. The two week waits are always an eternity. And yet the months have flown by. Our time trying; our time together. We are here, at the doorstep of our plan, our appointment. I don’t know what to expect but I am hopeful. And nervous. And scared of the diagnosis and having to keep waiting. I just want a plan, something to hold onto, a way to move forward. I guess we shall see what tomorrow will bring. Wish us luck!