In going through this, I find happiness is hard. It is a fight to feel good, to enjoy life, to not feel like I am wasting time. I fight to enjoy time with friends and not get overwhelmed by other people’s pregnancies. I fight to enjoy sex and not have that feel like work. I fight to keep my relationship strong and to be strong for my husband who is also struggling. And on top of all that, the happiness I fight so hard for is fragile. Pregnancy Facebook posts feel like an upper cut. Hanging out with friend’s kids like a punch to the gut. My happiness is like a house of cards – so hard to build and yet so fragile and quick to fall down. But I continue to fight. I remind myself that I don’t want this time to just fly by. I revel in sunsets and hot showers and a good laugh. I fight for the little things, the friendships, to keeping my life mine and enjoyable. And I fight to make this happen for us because I know one day it will happen and all have been worth it.