In going through this, I find happiness is hard. It is a fight to feel good, to enjoy life, to not feel like I am wasting time. I fight to enjoy time with friends and not get overwhelmed by other people’s pregnancies. I fight to enjoy sex and not have that feel like work. I fight to keep my relationship strong and to be strong for my husband who is also struggling. And on top of all that, the happiness I fight so hard for is fragile. Pregnancy Facebook posts feel like an upper cut. Hanging out with friend’s kids like a punch to the gut. My happiness is like a house of cards – so hard to build and yet so fragile and quick to fall down. But I continue to fight. I remind myself that I don’t want this time to just fly by. I revel in sunsets and hot showers and a good laugh. I fight for the little things, the friendships, to keeping my life mine and enjoyable. And I fight to make this happen for us because I know one day it will happen and all have been worth it.
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Mom, Eventually? 
I know these thoughts and feelings and they suck something fierce! May your time with your fertility clinic be short and fruitful!
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Thanks JustHeather! I’m feeling like I’m in a pretty good place right now (blame the blogging?) and just fighting to keep this streak going 😉 Thanks for the support!
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It will happen and you will get what you want. Just never lose hope and faith.
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That’s all you can do. Keep fighting for that happiness.
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So well said. Thank you for sharing.
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“I revel in sunsets and hot showers and a good laugh.” Fantastic. I wrote about the little things that make us happy this week on #MicroblogMondays too. I read somewhere that by focusing on these little things, we train our brain to look for, and feel, happiness. And that’s a wonderful skill to have at any time in our lives.
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Thanks Mali! Read your post and love the outlook. For me, I totally started cranky today but then I got to see a cloudy sunset where the rays of light shine through; chocolate cake for dessert and, even better, getting to share it with close friends! Totally helped me to end the day on a high note.
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[…] Feel sad and then fight for happiness. All of us experiences negative emotions at some point on this journey, whether it’s the […]
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